0:00 – Opening
The obvious “this-is-the-’80s” music shot with expected badass city life in Manhattan, complete with people shooting up drugs, nightlife, rats, and a barrel of toxic sludge just sitting in an alley.
4:00 – First sign of tatas
We’ve gotta get that body shot in with a gratuitous shot of nipples and buttcrack, for old time’s sake. Just in case viewers might tune out if they don’t get their dose of T&A.
5:00 – Jimmy
Jimmy sure takes glee in telling his girlfriend about Jason, even though he told her she wouldn’t want to hear about it.
6:00 – It’s electric!
Sweet electricity effects bro!
7:00 – Jason chortles
Is that the maniacal sound of Jason laughing underwater? Or perhaps it’s just James Earl Jones reprising his role as Darth Vader.
9:00 – Not so phallic symbolism
Jason caresses his gigantic… harpoon.
11:00 – “No! No! No! No!”
Suzy refuses to fight back, even as Jason slowly lowers his harpoon into her supple flesh. Emphasis on slowly.
15:00 – Captain Dick
Dad the captain goes from proud father to disappointed dad in seconds.
16:00 – Crazy Ralph the boathand
We have another character who serves the sole purpose of warning everyone (uselessly) that Jason is out to get them.
16:40 – Dance party deux!
’80s pop montage with dancing, skeet shooting, and jealous ogling makes for a very funny clip.
18:00 – “Is this axe awesome or what?”
The most e
pic rock video ever shot on VHS on a boat. Perhaps the only.
21:00 – Rocking again
And again below deck! The heavy in this film is unbearable.
22:00 – Jason shreds
Axed with the axe, complete with blood spray!
25:00 – “Accentuate.”
So that’s what this is called…
34:30 – Charles seduced
Look at the expression on Charles’ face as he stutters when Tamara seduces him. Priceless.
40:00 – Slo-mo neck slice
You can clearly see no pressure being applied here.
51:00 – Jason hates cameras
The way Jason swats the camera away here makes me think of celebrities with pesky paparazzi.
1:04:00 – Jason swims
Jason has been swimming regularly, getting in shape in case he ever has to follow a group of kids off of a boat and into Manhattan. He’s prepared despite having a fear of water we see later in the movie.
1:08:30 – Jason don’t dig rape
He’s got his morals too.
1:09:00 – Renny can’t get up
Watch for Renny struggling to sit up behind Jason getting shot. She looks like a turtle on its shell.
1:10:50 – Rooftop boxing showdown
In my opinion, this is one of the best scenes in all of the Friday the 13th series. Just a picture doesn’t do it justice, so watch this video dubbed with the Rocky theme.
1:15:00 – Jason hit by car
Jason is unperturbed by a pesky car smashing into him.
1:20:00 – Slimed
Hmm… drowned in a random barrel of putrid sludge just sitting around.
1:22:50 – Surprised extra
Look at the expression on this guy’s face when Jason bursts through a glass door.
1:25:00 – Street guy
Random guy without pants?
1:27:00 – Jason don’t do rap
Jason takes out a bunch of street thugs’ radios; they want to fight him until they see that he’s motherfucking Kane Hodder.
1:32:00 – Jason melts
I love Renny’s expression when Jason’s face melts from the toxic sludge (again found randomly in a container nicely marked).
1:36:00 – Tobey!
And Tobey finds Renny in the gigantic city, and they all lived happily ever after while Jason moves on to stalk other teenagers… in SPACE!