I’ve skipped ahead a little bit (and I’m definitely late for Friday the 13th), because I think that Jason Takes Manhattan is one of the funniest films in the series. It doesn’t really take itself seriously, and it’s much more brutal than the other films in the series thanks to an increased interest in the gore factor. Plus, there’s all the late ’80s cheese that makes it all the more fun. Please join me in one last romp through the WTF moments of Jason Takes Manhattan.

0:00 – Opening

The obvious “this-is-the-’80s” music shot with expected badass city life in Manhattan, complete with people shooting up drugs, nightlife, rats, and a barrel of toxic sludge just sitting in an alley.

4:00 – First sign of tatas

We’ve gotta get that body shot in with a gratuitous shot of nipples and buttcrack, for old time’s sake. Just in case viewers might tune out if they don’t get their dose of T&A.

5:00 – Jimmy

Jimmy sure takes glee in telling his girlfriend about Jason, even though he told her she wouldn’t want to hear about it.

6:00 – It’s electric!

Sweet electricity effects bro!

7:00 – Jason chortles

Is that the maniacal sound of Jason laughing underwater? Or perhaps it’s just James Earl Jones reprising his role as Darth Vader.

9:00 – Not so phallic symbolism

Jason caresses his gigantic… harpoon.

11:00 – “No! No! No! No!”

Suzy refuses to fight back, even as Jason slowly lowers his harpoon into her supple flesh. Emphasis on slowly.

15:00 – Captain Dick

Dad the captain goes from proud father to disappointed dad in seconds.

16:00 – Crazy Ralph the boathand

We have another character who serves the sole purpose of warning everyone (uselessly) that Jason is out to get them.

16:40 – Dance party deux!

’80s pop montage with dancing, skeet shooting, and jealous ogling makes for a very funny clip.

18:00 – “Is this axe awesome or what?”

The most e
pic rock video ever shot on VHS on a boat. Perhaps the only.

21:00 – Rocking again

And again below deck! The heavy in this film is unbearable.

22:00 – Jason shreds

Axed with the axe, complete with blood spray!

25:00 – “Accentuate.”

So that’s what this is called…

34:30 – Charles seduced

Look at the expression on Charles’ face as he stutters when Tamara seduces him. Priceless.

40:00 – Slo-mo neck slice

You can clearly see no pressure being applied here.

51:00 – Jason hates cameras

The way Jason swats the camera away here makes me think of celebrities with pesky paparazzi.

1:04:00 – Jason swims

Jason has been swimming regularly, getting in shape in case he ever has to follow a group of kids off of a boat and into Manhattan. He’s prepared despite having a fear of water we see later in the movie.

1:08:30 – Jason don’t dig rape

He’s got his morals too.

1:09:00 – Renny can’t get up

Watch for Renny struggling to sit up behind Jason getting shot. She looks like a turtle on its shell.

1:10:50 – Rooftop boxing showdown

In my opinion, this is one of the best scenes in all of the Friday the 13th series. Just a picture doesn’t do it justice, so watch this video dubbed with the Rocky theme.

1:15:00 – Jason hit by car

Jason is unperturbed by a pesky car smashing into him.

1:20:00 – Slimed

Hmm… drowned in a random barrel of putrid sludge just sitting around.

1:22:50 – Surprised extra

Look at the expression on this guy’s face when Jason bursts through a glass door.

1:25:00 – Street guy

Random guy without pants?

1:27:00 – Jason don’t do rap

Jason takes out a bunch of street thugs’ radios; they want to fight him until they see that he’s motherfucking Kane Hodder.

1:32:00 – Jason melts

I love Renny’s expression when Jason’s face melts from the toxic sludge (again found randomly in a container nicely marked).

1:36:00 – Tobey!

And Tobey finds Renny in the gigantic city, and they all lived happily ever after while Jason moves on to stalk other teenagers… in SPACE!


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Writer for TheMoonisaDeadWorld.net, HorrorSexy, and more spots around the Internet. Also a podcaster and lover of craft beer.